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The Anals of Stock ProctologyPublished 5 times
per week by the American Academy of Stock Proctology and Available by annual subscription for $1929 or free Welcome to the The Anals of Stock Proctology, the new scholarly journal of the American Academy of Stock Proctology, edited by the world famous founder of the study of Stock Proctology, Dr. Stepan N. Stool PHandD. The Anals replaces Capitalstool's nightly and weekend updates of the major stock indexes. Now you can get your nightly stock proctology report in one convenient, uncluttered page, right here. The Anals will be available for free, for the immediate future. Soon, however, all advertising and solicitation will be removed from the Anals, and access to the Anals will be restricted to subscribers. As a result of the clean format, the Anals will be readily printable for reading in locations more appropriate to such endeavors, such as, uh, the kitchen table. Yes. The remainder of the site, including The Stool Pigeons Wire, IntradayStool, Stoolhoo, and Stoolchat, will continue to be free. You will never have to pay for access to these pages. Previous contributors to Capitalstool will receive a free subscription period. Prior to going to a subscription format, the voluntary pay buttons will remain. So feel free to contribute now. Your contribution will result in a full credit toward your future subscription. Several of you have already contributed in excess of $500, and you will receive a free lifetime subscription. Contributors of written content or illustrations used on the Capitalstool front page will also receive free subscriptions. That includes all who achieve the level of Professor of Stock Proctology on the Stool Pigeons Wire. Initial subscription rates will be $19.29 quarterly or $74 per year, in honor of the great bear markets of the 20th century. Actually, 1937 was pretty bad too, so the Academy may offer a half year subscription for $37. Latecomers will be able to get a one time, one month trial for, what else? $6.66. As always I thank you for your support, and I look forward to many prosperous years working together with you. Happy New Year to you and to Bears the world over! Dr. Stepan N. Stool December 30, 2001
The Most Dangerous Person On Wall Street (1/31/02) Abby Justa Colon showed up on Crapvision tonight. Why, you ask, does Dr. Stool even bother to watch the world's longest running infomercial. I say to you, my fellow Stooligans, Someone must be there to expose the fraud. If not me, who? If not now, when? So once again the Cloistered Abbey is trotted out to spew her smarmy brand of spin and outright lies. Did the so called reporters on Crapvision even bother to ask a tough question? You must be kidding. Here's Ron Insane and Sue Herass, which is what we should do. " So tell me Mother Superior, what do you think of Enron and this business about needing to give closer scrutiny to accounting?" Uh Oh, I'm thinking, here comes the big lie. Sure enough, this cretin, this criminal, this lying sack of dog dirt, who had Enron as a top recommendation right to the bitter end, dropped a whopper. She said, "Fortunately, for Goldman's clients, they are protected because we here at Goldman do our own thorough screening for these issues!" The smell was so bad, people watching at home had to light a couple of matches by the TV to get rid of the odor. You stinking dirty rat. You lie like a rug. You lie all the time about your pathetic record that has caused investors to lose fortunes. You twist falsehoods to sound like truth. Not just once, but over and over again. And no one in the media, not one single reporter, has ever challenged this narcissistic sociopath on her record of misstatements and lies, a record thoroughly chronicled in these pages.
This haughty phony likes to point out that her recommendations are for a time horizon of 6 months to one year. So here's my question to you, you creep, if Goldman pre-screens companies for accounting issues, why was Enron a Goldman top pick top pick last year? ets look at her picks from six months to a year ago and see where they are now. Back in January 2001 she was forecasting a 12 month target of 1650 on the SPX and 13,000 on the Dow. Her top picks on January 20, 2001 were MET, ECL, AMAT, DOX, and COH. Here's how they did vs. the Sphincters Index. Congrats to Abby. She beat the market.
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SPX Charts The VIX, a measure of options volatility, moved back into the "complacent" zone, bouncing back quickly form "mildly worried" as the SPX tacked on 16.63 to close at 1130. These people just don't scare easy. As long as the market takes one step back up for every two steps down, this can go on forever without engendering fear. Investors continue to behave just like they did last summer. Momentum indicators are either lagging badly, or this is just more distribution, I vote for the latter.
For sure, there's a Reverse Whopsaw. This market kills bears and bulls with equal vigor. Unless the SPX gets through the 1140-45 area, this is just an oddball sideways short cycle up phase. I'm not sure about the 10-13week cycle. It's probably also in some kind of odd sideways up phase consolidation similar to last summer. We saw positive cyclicality in June-August that coincided with overly bullish sentiment, but the market went nowhere. It's all part of a big, frustrating topping out process that will drive both teams crazy before it's resolved, to the downside, which will really drive the bulls crazy. I'm not going to make any more predictions as to when that will be, or what shape it will take. I'm tired of being wrong, and you're tired of listening to it. So we'll just wait.
So far the bounce back has reach]ed the Fibbing nacho 50% level. Interestingly, if you run it on the basis of closing price it's also a Fibbing Nacho - 38.2%. (not shown)
Nasdaq Charts The Nasty is also in an oddball sideways up phase that's been murder on traders (including a certain doctor of stock proctology. The end is nigh. But when? Probably not Friday. Thursday's $15 billion FEED took care of that.
Hit On The Bong Every time stocks rally, the bonds sell off. There's no new money coming in, so the sphincters rob Peter to pay Paul. It's going to be interesting to see what happens when bond yields really explode, any day now. A move to 5.5 will shut down the refi bubble and cause an economic seizure.
Mohel Lynch (Oy, do we got tips for you!) had a mark-up sale on Untel. Joe Oshit, their semiconductor shill, announced the sale before the open. Keep in mind that the research shills ONLY recommend stocks the borker makes a market in. They NEVER recommend stocks the borker does not make a market in. This is legal pump and dump inventory mark-up. It should be outlawed, but this is an issue that no one on the Street or in the media ever talks about. So, have you ever been borked? Now you know. Hey, if you bought this one, you might make some money. But you'd better be quick. It has about a week to live, by my reckoning. The borker's idea here is to let the borkee get a little every so often. Keeps 'em coming back for more borking.
Nasdaq Cycle Conditions as of 1/31/02
L-Low,
H-High SPX Cycle Conditions as of 1/31/02
See you in Intraday Stool. Let us know what you think on the Stool Pigeons Wire. Archive
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![[Most Recent XAU from www.kitco.com]](http://www.weblinks247.com/indexes/idx24_nasdaq_en_2.gif)
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What
a day! The sphincters managed a helluva jam, selling their bonds to
raise enough cash to push the Dowager back above Tuesday morning's high.
It was a virtually uninterrupted 157 point ramp to close at 9913. Is it a
bears dreaded Reverse Finger Whopsaw? Nah, just a Fulla Baloney Bullhorn,
also known as a Broadening Formation. It looks like a short term sideways
up phase. The 17 and 28 day rate of change have not confirmed. This will
come to an ignominious end.
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