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The Anals of Stock ProctologyPublished 5 times
per week by the American Academy of Stock Proctology and Available by annual subscription for $1929 or free Welcome to the The Anals of Stock Proctology, the new scholarly journal of the American Academy of Stock Proctology, edited by the world famous founder of the study of Stock Proctology, Dr. Stepan N. Stool PHandD. The Anals replaces Capitalstool's nightly and weekend updates of the major stock indexes. Now you can get your nightly stock proctology report in one convenient, uncluttered page, right here. The Anals will be available for free, for the immediate future. Soon, however, all advertising and solicitation will be removed from the Anals, and access to the Anals will be restricted to subscribers. As a result of the clean format, the Anals will be readily printable for reading in locations more appropriate to such endeavors, such as, uh, the kitchen table. Yes. The remainder of the site, including The Stool Pigeons Wire, IntradayStool, Stoolhoo, and Stoolchat, will continue to be free. You will never have to pay for access to these pages. Previous contributors to Capitalstool will receive a free subscription period. Prior to going to a subscription format, the voluntary pay buttons will remain. So feel free to contribute now. Your contribution will result in a full credit toward your future subscription. Several of you have already contributed in excess of $500, and you will receive a free lifetime subscription. Contributors of written content or illustrations will also receive free subscriptions. That includes all who achieve the level of Professor of Stock Proctology on the Stool Pigeons Wire. Initial subscription rates will be $19.29 quarterly or $74 per year, in honor of the great bear markets of the 20th century. Actually, 1937 was pretty bad too, so the Academy may offer a half year subscription for $37. Latecomers will be able to get a one time, one month trial for, what else? $6.66. As always I thank you for your support, and I look forward to many prosperous years working together with you. Happy New Year to you and to Bears the world over! Dr. Stepan N. Stool December 30, 2001
The dipshits were out in force Wednesday spurred on by horrible earnings news that was worth buying because the slimeball corporations had managed to guide the analcysts lower than where the earnings came in. Naturally, portfolio sphincters interpreted the manipulation to mean that a V shaped recovery was underway, which would lead to explosive growth in earnings, which in turn would justify obviously ridiculous PE ratios. The real reason for the rally was of course, financial conspiracy under the auspices of JP Moogan Golden Sacks Greenspew and Co. otherwise known as the FBI, Financial Bubble Inc. Alfred E. Greenman, Director. Over the last 2 days the FEED gassed the market with $37 billion in new money. True, some of that was old stuff being rolled over, but that amount in two days is much bigger than we normally see. A lot of it went to fight fires, like a bond market meltdown, and god knows what in the derivatives arena, but, as usual some of it was fed directly into the stock markets. At the same time, the FEED sales force over at Golden Sacks and JP Moogan were hard at work. JP Moogan Securities issued a blanket upgrade in the chip sector, a tried and true ploy we'ver seen before, that serves only one purpose, to move inventory. These "research" recommendations always involve stocks that the borker makes markets in and are overloaded in their own inventory. So they put out a buy recommendation, mark them up, and get rid of them, leading the portfolio sphincters managing your retirement funds, and a few other dimwits, holding the bag a few days later when the stocks collapse. They are only doing their job, moving inventory! With portfolio sphincters ready, willing, and able to spend your retirement money for no reason other than they have to do what every else is doing, for the borkers, it's an easy job. Likewise, Golden Sacks trotted out the Cloistered Abbey to help in the same process. The Mother Superior made up some nonsense about cutting earnings estimates for 2002 because corporations were taking so many charges to clean out their books, BUT that this would not affect corporate activity, and that she was maintaining her targets of 1300 to 1425 on the Sphincters Index. This is the same Mother Joseph Superior, who, had you followed her recommendations for the last two years, would have buried you and thrown dirt on your coffin, while she was picking your pockets. So she makes another blanket buy recommendation. I guess it's a buy when you forecast the market will be 25% higher in spite of a 20% reduction in forecast earnings. She isn't doing this out of the goodness of her heart. Golden Sacks is the second largest Specialist firm on the NYSE and makes markets in nearly a thousand Nasdaq stocks. After days of relentless public selling, these kind hearted philanthropists are stuffed to the gills with stock they don't want. So what do the head traders do. The call on the chief shill, the Cloistered Abbey herself to announce a big sale! Step right up folks, we're marking up these overpriced, bloated pieces of crap, just for you, because even though their earnings are in the toilet, they ARE A BARGAIN! Buy now before it's too late! And voila, the inventory is reduced! Golden Sacks' record in this regard is spotless. They manage to do this just before each instance of a market collapse. Pretty fart smellers they are. Yes indeed. The market rallied Wednesday, partly as a result of all the silliness discussed above, but mainly because some short cycle lows were in, and chartheads were hungry and they saw Dover Sole. So they bought. The Nas rocketed by nearly 40 to close just under 1922, near the high. The Sphincters Index was up 8.87 to 1128, pulling back off the high of 1132 in the last hour. The Dow was weaker as IBM plummeted (see below), and MSFT, and GE were weak as well. How in the world anyone could believe in a rally with those three acting like hell is just one of those things that shows how moronic people can be when it comes to gambling, uh, I mean, investing your money. The Dow ended up 17 at 9730. SPX Charts There's no sign of a bottom on the first chart, just a blip in a short term downtrend. Complacency reigns supreme as the VIX moved back to 24, well within the sell signal zone. This action is almost identical to what took place last summer when all the portfolio sphincters and analcysts were screaming "bottom." Of course it was a top. Now they're not screaming "bottom", they're screaming "correction", so convinced are they that the "bottom" was last September. But of course, it's not a correction. It's a top.
The cycle chart says the short cycle is coming off a low. This indicator will do a lot of bouncing in a downtrend, because it is based on the position of price relative to a larger trend. Upward short term cyclicality will be offset by a declining trend. We might see more bouncing around for a few days, but not a lot of upward progress.
The regurgitation rally is supported by the fact that a fibbing nacho, 23.6% retracement level was hit.
Nasdaq Charts The Nas also bounced off a level formerly known as support at a short cycle low. Traders will try to push the index higher over the next few days, but they have big time trend forces, i.e. overhead supply, and disgruntled investors, working against them.
IBM- Yes you certainly did today, didn't you. It should bounce here, but even if it does, it's still headed for the high 80's. And then some.
Sucktor Watch The Treasury market got clocked. The uptrend in yields may be reasserting itself. 5.20 will be a key test. If it gets through that, the uptrend is affirmed. The intermediate cycle oscillator will probably correct wit the index headed sideways over the next few months before heading up up and away.
Nasdaq Cycle Conditions as of 1/23/02
L-Low,
H-High SPX Cycle Conditions as of 1/23/02
See you in Intraday Stool. Let us know what you think on the Stool Pigeons Wire. Archive
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